The Compassionate Friends Saskatoon

History TCF Saskatoon History of The Compassionate Friends Saskatoon Over 25 Years of Caring The Compassionate Friends (TCF) is a self-help organization offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents. TCF promotes and assists families towards the positive resolution of grief experienced upon the death of a child of any age, from any cause, and to foster the physical and emotional health of bereaved parents and siblings. TCF has international beginnings and currently has chapters in many countries worldwide. We are thankful for the Saskatoon chapter of TCF but it has a long storied past. The history of TCF began overseas in the late 1960s. TCF had its beginnings in England in May of 1968. Two young boys, Kenneth Lawley and Billy Henderson, died at the Coventry and Warwickshire hospital just a few days apart. Joe and Iris Lawley reached out to Bill and Joan Henderson by sending flowers. The significance of this gesture would only become evident in the weeks and months to come. An invitation followed to meet over tea. The Lawleys and the Hendersons shared together and cried together as they talked about their children, their memories, their grief, and their dreams that had died with Billy and Kenneth. An immediate bond was formed. The two couples continued to meet together on a regular basis. A young hospital chaplain named Rev. Simon Stephens observed the special bond and support these couples were able to give to each other and encouraged them to invite other newly bereaved parents to join them. The significance of this observation would soon become evident. With the help of Rev. Stephens, the first Compassionate Friends meeting was held in January 1969 with another grieving mother joining the two couples. The self-help group TCF was thus born to help bereaved parents with the death of their children. Rev. Stephens became a chaplain in the British Royal Navy in the1970s and met with bereaved parents at ports throughout the world. Through a magazine article about the fledgling Compassionate Friends, Paula and Arnold Shamres of Florida invited Rev. Stephens to speak to a group of bereaved parents in 1972 and subsequently established the first chapter of TCF in the United States. In Canada on January 31, 1976, Benjamin Robert Ian, son of Joan and Bob Martin, died at 9 years of age after a lengthy battle with cancer. During the lonely struggle after Benjamins death, Joan read a magazine article about Rev. Stephens, the Compassionate Friends group and about the Shamres, founders of TCF U.S.A. She wrote to the Shamres requesting a step-by-step guideline for beginning a new chapter here in Canada. Joan knew that in order for TCF to be recognized she needed to garner professional support. She found it in Ruth Kettner and Pat Scorer of the Childrens Hospital. The first Canadian meeting of TCF was held on the third Thursday in January 1977 in the Annie A. Bond room of the Community Services Bldg, at 685 William Avenue in Winnipeg. The meetings are still being held there today. Advertisements REPORT THIS AD The 20 people who attended the first meeting came with enormous burdens and unresolved grief. They were looking for someone to help them. They did not see themselves as part of their own solution. Joan Martin set out on the task of sharing her vision by writing to each member monthly and inviting them to all return to the newly formed group. A library of donated books on grief was set up and so it began. Professionals were an important part of establishing this first TCF chapter in Winnipeg, working together with bereaved parents, the experts. In the summer of 1977, Rev. Stephens visited TCF Winnipeg. Gwen Brown was also decisive in spreading TCF throughout Canada. Gwen became a member of TCF Winnipeg in 1978. In 1985, she took early retirement; selling her home and purchasing a van she named the Hopemobile. Gwen began traveling across Canada visiting bereaved parents isolated in their grief as well as their locale. As more and more members began giving back, TCF spread throughout Canada from coast to coast. Joan Martin sent out the first newsletters in January 1978. They consisted of a few pages and were a lifeline offering hope to many. TCF has grown from very small beginnings to what we have today. It has provided love, support and compassion to countless bereaved parents along the way. A key component of TCF has always been the Chapter Leaders. Without these caring and compassionate individuals TCF would not exist. Lynne Allin and Sheila Williams founded TCF Saskatoon 25 years ago. They were the first chapter leaders and together with Shelias husband Norm, met at the Saskatoon Public Library for the first meeting. They had a full room of bereaved parents in attendance. The second meeting was held at the Public Health building on 3rd avenue and 25th street on the second floor. Monthly sharing meetings have continued through today. Lynne Allin also began publishing a monthly newsletter coinciding with these first meetings. The newsletter has continued through today and has been a lifeline offering friendship, understanding, grief education and hope for the future for our bereaved parents. TCF Saskatoon participated in the Worldwide Candle Lighting beginning in 1997. The Worldwide Candle Lighting is held every year on the second Sunday in December, at 7:00pm local time in every time zone. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lit in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe. Bereaved parents around the globe light a candle to remember their children so that their light may always shine. TCF Saskatoon Candle Lighting continues through today together with a harmonious potluck supper. The family Bar-B-Q and balloon release evolved over the years to be a wonderful event today. Messages attached to helium balloons are released in memory of our precious children who have died. This special and memorable event occurs following a Bar-B-Q. Over the years, TCF Saskatoon has also hosted many guest speakers, each having a profound impact on our members and our chapter. A dedicated list of email buddies and telephone friends is also a very good way to help us by talking about the loss, the hurt and the memories. Advertisements REPORT THIS AD TCF has grown in Saskatoon from that first meeting at the Saskatoon Public Library to what it is today. We will always have a special place in our hearts for Lynne Allin and Sheila Williams for what this group provides us today. Growing from those tiny roots 25 years ago, their vision is evident in the contribution of our chapter leaders and members today. TCF Saskatoon has provided love, support and compassion to countless bereaved parents along the way. Other chapter leaders/facilitators through the years have included Pat Blakley and Ray and Holly Glow beginning in 1987, 1990 Suzan Running, 1992 Laura Ratzlaff and Margaret Silvernagle, 1994 Shelley Wicks, 1997 Louise Dunn, 1998 Mark and Kelly Richardson, and since 2001, Mary Barilla and Roslyn Maxwell. Adeline Leir from Regina has also been very supportive to TCF Saskatoon for many years. We owe a debt of gratitude to the commitment and dedication of these and other chapter leaders over the years. We celebrate those who support the newly bereaved today, and we hope and pray that 25 years from today other bereaved parents can gather together with gratitude and thanks for the ongoing love and support of TCF Saskatoon. We cannot begin to acknowledge everyone, but on behalf of all bereaved parents past and present we offer our thanks to all who have assisted TCF Saskatoon in any manner. This includes past and present members of our Advisory Board, who have given so freely to support us. From the beginning we have been grateful to Public Health Services who provided a meeting room for TCF Saskatoon in the 80s. More recently we gratefully acknowledge the support of Bill and Eleanor Edwards and the W.A. Edwards Family Centre in their continuing support of TCF Saskatoon. With the assistance and support of all, our presence continues to grow. Those of us who were fortunate enough to have The Compassionate Friends Saskatoon when we needed them, to support us in our darkest hour, fully realize we might not be where we are today had it not been for these caring, compassionate bereaved parents. They were willing to give their love and support to the newly bereaved in this journey none of us wanted to take. So today we celebrate the dedication of these wonderful bereaved parents, who over the past 25 years, have given back to TCF Saskatoon and to the newly bereaved. We thank each and every one of you for your love and support. This brief history has been complied with help from a number of sources including TCF Winnipeg, TCF Canada, TCF USA, and personal interviews from individuals who were there in the early years of TCF Saskatoon. We would like to express our thanks for their contribution. We do not walk alone, we are The Compassionate Friends Saskatoon, we walk together. Prepared for TCF Saskatoons 25th Anniversary 2008

Regular monthly meetings - supporting bereaved parents & adult siblings. 4 newsletters per year for about 200 members, grief counsellors & other Canadian chapters, lending library - books about grief & grief support for all family members. Annual candlelighting program & supper BBQ/picnic/balloon release - supporting all family members with their grief - providing friendship web page with up to date info, resources & memorials for our deceased children.

Bereaved parents

Call (306) 955-6099, or use the website.

Phone

(306) 955-6099

Website

https://tcfsaskatoon.wordpress.com/